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need help. I can trust you guys.

 
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White Rabbit
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Joined: 01 Dec 2002
Posts: 1668
Location: Wonderland

PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 10:36 pm    Post subject: need help. I can trust you guys. Reply with quote

So yeah. Married not that long ago to the woman of my dreams. as some of you may remember, it is because of her that I am rich beyond reason. This however, makes things difficult. I have discovered that she has been sleeping with a friend of ours. How do you guys think I should handle this. It is great having to not worry about money, ever, but I also lie awake at night thinking about what has happened. She doesn't know that I know. What should I do? Any words of wisdom from the Q'ers, my (and it's sad cuz its true) oldest friends?
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Nexus
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Joined: 30 Jul 2001
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Location: in your forum, banning your dudes

PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 9:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

We were never biologically meant to have only one companion, so I say try it out yourself, sleep around behind her back.

If that doesn't make the situation simpler for you, then confront her to at leats hear her out. Even if you do stay with her, because it sounds like breaking up would be something you'd definetely regret later.
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Saepe
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Joined: 04 Apr 2003
Posts: 4222

PostPosted: Sat Mar 14, 2009 11:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I tend to agree with Nexus' first statement, we aren't meant to stay with one person. Love is a concept first conceived by people living in a society, that being said you should discern between love and lust, and lust around yourself.

I don't quite agree with the second statement, a confronted woman can make wacky moves also if you confront her and stay with her its like giving her the okay to just screw around.

That's only my opinion though, and I'm hardly an expert on women
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Nexus
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Joined: 30 Jul 2001
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Location: in your forum, banning your dudes

PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 7:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Saepe wrote:
also if you confront her and stay with her its like giving her the okay to just screw around.


Moral high ground for years. Priceless.
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Saepe
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

morality is another of these societal inventions
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Alia Nexis
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Joined: 21 Jul 2002
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Location: New Scotland

PostPosted: Sun Mar 15, 2009 8:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My relationship experience is not... normal, but I'd go for transparency, understanding and compromise. Go with Nex's second opinion, even though getting to it might take a bit of effort. I hope we can help.


And if things hopefully work out, weren't you planning on having a social for us? *is willing to reference very old posts*
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Geezer
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Joined: 12 May 2001
Posts: 8078
Location: Upside your head

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd agree with Alia. Relationships are all about compromise, and hopefully she will be able to respect you for talking to her about it, rather than hiding the fact that you know, and letting it poison things slowly and secretly.

After you both know as much of the whole story the other is willing to tell, you'll be able to make a better decision.

I hope things can be sorted out in a way that is positive, at least in the long-term.
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TomCo
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Joined: 23 Apr 2003
Posts: 2001
Location: Inner Sanctum

PostPosted: Tue Mar 17, 2009 11:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Confront her about it.
Tell that what she did hurt you because of how much you love her, but you're willing to put it behind you if she's willing to entertain a frank discussion about why she's fucking around.

If she gets really pissy about it and completely avoids the situation or denies it (I assume you KNOW its true first hand), or turns the whole thing around on to you; I don't see much future in the relationship.

If she does come clean about it, you're satisfied with her response and are willing to forgive her - you CANNOT bring it up in a future argument EVER, EVER EVER EVER.
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White Rabbit
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Joined: 01 Dec 2002
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes. I do know first hand. The security tapes don't lie.

I have to say, you guys are matching everyone else I've asked about it. Just talk to her. I'm going to tomorrow. Thank you guys for being so straight about it. I'll keep you up to date.

And Alia. I have not forgotten. assuming all goes well here, expect it for real. The first HHQ meetup live. Not a sober breath will be taken under my roof for however long the party lasts.
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Catholic Girl: No.
Priest: Then no sin was committed.
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malmhead
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Joined: 11 Aug 2001
Posts: 251
Location: NY

PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 11:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

So how did that work out for you?
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Disco Cat
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Joined: 30 Apr 2001
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PostPosted: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am too late to offer advice, but I hope things turned out well for you, White Rabbit.
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Nexus
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Joined: 30 Jul 2001
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Location: in your forum, banning your dudes

PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 8:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If that even is your name.
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Disco Cat
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 9:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

'tis a very common name in his country.
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Nexus
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PostPosted: Fri Apr 24, 2009 12:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

In his country brown rabbits have a hard time with supremacist rabbits.
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Disco Cat
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PostPosted: Sat Apr 25, 2009 12:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

No one is preventing them from forming a brown supremacist rabbit group. They just need 20 signatures for funding.
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Saepe
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Joined: 04 Apr 2003
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 05, 2010 5:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was quite the douche back then
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Disco Cat
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 06, 2010 2:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Last week?
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Saepe
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PostPosted: Mon Jun 07, 2010 3:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Uhu, it's better now
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Disco Cat
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PostPosted: Thu Jun 10, 2010 6:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is why it's good to shower daily.
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