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Hitman Smut Extravaganza
by: Tech21 | March 18, 2001

It's a known fact that the target audience of computer games is males, age 16-30. It's also a known fact that males, age 16-30, are a pretty horny bunch of primates. As submissions to the daily "Piece of the Action" section, this site receives loads of Hitman screenshots each week and, not surprisingly, about one in every four contains some sort of sexual content.

Now, for fear of turning the "pic of the day" into the "porn of the day", most of these shots are left off the main page. After all, GameSpy is a family site, and turning a Hitman hosted site into PlanetPr0n.com is a sure way to get permanently banned (and have little green men come to carry off your PC).

Nevertheless, the mailbox was getting pretty darn cluttered with player-made porno, so instead of letting it all waste away in the recycle bin, it's now all available in this finely disguised feature article. Enjoy.

Submitted by: Craig Edmondson
Pr0nitude: 5 of 10
Notes: This is the basic "strip clothes and lay them together in a compromising position." Nothing fancy, but workable.
Submitted by: Conor Magee
Pr0nitude: 7 of 10
Notes: Very awkward position, but tantilizing nonetheless.
Submitted by: MacBeth
Pr0nitude: 4 of 10
Notes: I believe the caption is referring to the plant, but any suggestions would be helpful.
Submitted by: GrEyFoX
Pr0nitude: 9 of 10
Notes: The stripper in Hitman is perhaps the best use of polygons in history.
Submitted by: Hitman Kill
Pr0nitude: 6 of 10
Notes: Another overhead nude shot - Extra points because the guy is really old and has two women.
Submitted by: Craig Edmondson
Pr0nitude: 8 of 10
Notes: Extremely disgusting. Maybe this one should have been left in the recycle bin after all.
Submitted by: Eltham154
Pr0nitude:10 of 10
Notes: Proves developers are just as sick minded as the players.
Submitted by: Masavan Orlitz
Pr0nitude: 3 of 10
Notes: Thirty naked men lying in pools of blood. Yummy.
Submitted by: Poor Yurik
Pr0nitude: 9 of 10
Notes: This secretary is a real slut. And why is the Hitman always in swim trunks?
Submitted by: Alex
Pr0nitude: 9 of 10
Notes: Once again, you gotta love the stripper.
Submitted by: Liquid Corpse
Pr0nitude: 5 of 10
Notes: Yet another mass lay. Extra points for no blood and the inclusion of members of the opposite sex.
Submitted by: Chris Sutton
Pr0nitude: 10 of 10
Notes: A marvel of modern screenshot taking.

Well, there you have it: twelve shining examples of the immaturity of Hitman fans. Ain't it great? Keep those screenshots coming, but it you want to see them posted on the front page, be sure to keep the content suitable for all ages. Extreme, gruesome violence is fine, but a guy in his underwear is just not acceptable. Happy screen capturing!

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